Well, obviously...

Apparently in all the drama of the last few years I have somehow become the least-technologically-aware techie on the planet. Having just opened the doors of my blogs on Vox and LiveJournal, I am also discovering the cool world of Web 2.0.

So whilst looking up my newly-created account on del.icio.us today - passing the time at work on an oh-so-busy day after Christmas - I came across the Top 10 signs you are new to Web 2.0. I was rather shocked and mortified to see that 9 out of the 10 items completely applied to me. How mortifying!

This is really the last kick in the pants that I could have expected. I mean I have let a lot of stuff go for necessity's sake - but now this is just getting ridiculous! Looks? Down the drain. Men? Divorced. Excitement? I "retired" to suburbia for my job. Cool flat? See previous. Fashion? See previous. Music? Who can keep up? Technology? That should be a no-brainer! I was ALWAYS ahead of the curve on that - maybe not the bleeding edge, but I was right there in SOMA for the Dot Com heyday! Tech was my life! But look what happens when you turn your head for a minute...

Well that sucks. I am trying to get back on track in all areas. A few things I managed to stay current on: books and food & wine. And luckily my interest in everything I have mentioned has not completely disappeared - although I thought it had. For the umpteenth time in my life I thought to myself, "This part of my life is over. I will retreat from the world as I should." Why do I keep throwing in the towel? It seems so much easier than finding my own way to go, I guess. Because I don't want to lead the trends anymore - at least not like I used to in my NYC days - and I have never been a follower. So I opt for cashing in and letting it all go when all that is really needed is for me to find my own path. One that involves neither leading trends nor following, but just being. However, that takes courage, determination and a belief in oneself - all things I have been short on until very recently.

And actually this comes right around to what I have been thinking about a lot lately: my life in Miami Beach. When I lived there, I had finally hit that balance - creating my own world that integrated my interests in technology, music, fashion, design, literature, food, wine without losing myself in any one pursuit. I am not sure how I got there, but I haven't been able to do it again since I left Miami Beach. I do know that the struggles of the past few years have naturally removed me from that path, but now I feel like I am being drawn back. I think it's coming again - that getting centered and living holistically.

I think I may make it back to myself after all - fused from all the broken parts that I had become.