'Twas the night before Christmas...

Well, another Christmas has come and almost gone. This is the first Christmas ever that I haven't pined for that "perfect Christmas" that doesn't really exist anywhere except in my imagination and on TV. I am glad not to have that yearning, but it makes me feel like I am not myself. I mean who am I if I am not wishing I were having a better time, doing something more exciting, with smarter/funnier/hipper people? I am alone and I am content. What is that all about?

I didn't decorate and I didn't make any plans whatsoever. I got groceries for tomorrow, but no Christmas-y food like a ham or a turkey or a roast beef. I got lasagne! That is as un-Christmas-y as you can get in my opinion. More so even than Chinese or the like because that is going out of your way not to eat traditional holiday fare. Lasagne is just regular any day food. My one nod to the festive occasion was a bottle of wine which will be nice to have.

I mean, if you just go by the few sentences above, we are talking major changes in my behavior/personality/oulook on life. I am always miserable at the holidays. It is my calling card, my schtick, my crutch - heck, people expect it of me. And obviously I expect it of me. But this year I guess I really couldn't be bothered to be bothered. Christmas comes, there is nothing you can do about it except hunker down until it passes - and try to make the best of it while it is here.

The new job has kind of made it easier I guess. Lower expectations. I haven't been there long so I am not expecting warm fuzzy yuletide cheer from everyone (especially not Crossbow, but that is another story!). I have become jaded in that aspect, I guess. Truly, you do stop being the bubbly new person after you have played that role one too many times. I am now "jaded new person."

But don't be fooled into thinking that I have completely stopped being myself... Of course I did get myself several very nice Christmas presents - if I hadn't then there would truly be reason for concern! The super shopper miss a shopportunity? Never! I got myself that leather jacket that I have been wanting, a huge bottle of Bulgari Pour Femme (EDP) and that cute patchwork purse. As any good present-giver should, I also got myself some non-fun-but-necessary items: new sheets (ivory, striped sateen, 1000 TC), some extra pillow cases (same) and a pair of leather gloves for that 2-day cold snap that should be arriving sometime in late January/early February.

Now I know you are wondering about the girls. What did I get Peeka and Boo? Well, after giving it a lot of thought - and honestly I did - I decided against giving them anything. Because, they are CATS! No matter what I gave them, they wouldn't have appreciated it any more than they appreciate their Pounce treats. Nothing would make them that excited - well except more Pounce treats and I already bought them some a few weeks ago. I love the kittens and all, but I realized that my happiness in giving comes from knowing and seeing the recipient appreciating the gift that was given. If you are giving a present to a cat, how is that satisfying? Cats aren't even immediately appreciative of a toy (unlike a dog) so you would just have to "know" that eventually they will enjoy it. Well, that's not my style of giving - I don't give just for the sake of it. I give to give happiness - and if that can be better accomplished with a few Pounce treats and some cuddles instead of a toy that will get lost after an hour, then Pounce & cuddles it is!

So on this night before Christmas, having watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and reflected upon Christmases Past, Present and Future I can say that it is a not-so-bad-if-not-quite-wonderful life. I can't believe how optimistic I have become.