THINK THE LOTUS

Ok well, maybe just for me...  I TiVo'd Sunday's epi of "Dexter" ("Waiting to Exhale") and it looks SOOOOO good!  But you all know that and you have probably already seen it - so I am not reading any postings here yet.  I just had to comment on one thing.

First of all, I joined this group when it was first started.  However, this is my first time posting here.  It's been a very busy 2007.  So, in that line of thinking - is it me or does it seem like Season 1 just ended?  I was deleting some of my saved programs from my TiVo last week in preparation for a weekend full of goodies ("Dexter" primary among them) and I saw that I had saved the Season 1 finale.  My jaw hit the floor when I saw that it had ended in December!  Can anyone confirm that?  I hit delete too soon and it registered afterwards. 

I mean, don't get me wrong, when Season 1 ended I remembered thinking that Season 2 was such a long way away, but 9 months flew by like that!  And once again, here's Dexter Morgan, my old friend... ;-)  I love the narration with the music.  Such a soothing voice and such eerie music - what a great juxtaposition!  Everyone involved in the making of this show is an absolute genius.  Oh and I know I am late to comment on the Emmys, but how ridiculously unfair was it that neither Michael C. Hall nor "Dexter" were nominated for any much-deserved Emmys.  Grrr.  Thank f*ck "The Sopranos" has finally shuffled off its mortal coil so maybe "Dexter" will have a chance.  A show about a lovable serial killer...  hm.  Maybe not. 

Anyway, it's good to be here - I'll be checking in more often.

What were your top 5 TV shows of 2006?

Dexter

Dexter

This show is amazing - totally original and groundbreaking. 

Project Runway

The only Reality show I will watch.  The 3rd season added haute drama to the haute couture!

Weeds

GREAT second season.  The season finale - what a cliffhanger!

Nip/Tuck

I am new to this show, but I am catching up.  It's very stylish and always interesting.

Lost

This show is so good but it will jump the shark soon if the writers aren't careful.

Apparently in all the drama of the last few years I have somehow become the least-technologically-aware techie on the planet. Having just opened the doors of my blogs on Vox and LiveJournal, I am also discovering the cool world of Web 2.0.

So whilst looking up my newly-created account on del.icio.us today - passing the time at work on an oh-so-busy day after Christmas - I came across the Top 10 signs you are new to Web 2.0. I was rather shocked and mortified to see that 9 out of the 10 items completely applied to me. How mortifying!

This is really the last kick in the pants that I could have expected. I mean I have let a lot of stuff go for necessity's sake - but now this is just getting ridiculous! Looks? Down the drain. Men? Divorced. Excitement? I "retired" to suburbia for my job. Cool flat? See previous. Fashion? See previous. Music? Who can keep up? Technology? That should be a no-brainer! I was ALWAYS ahead of the curve on that - maybe not the bleeding edge, but I was right there in SOMA for the Dot Com heyday! Tech was my life! But look what happens when you turn your head for a minute...

Well that sucks. I am trying to get back on track in all areas. A few things I managed to stay current on: books and food & wine. And luckily my interest in everything I have mentioned has not completely disappeared - although I thought it had. For the umpteenth time in my life I thought to myself, "This part of my life is over. I will retreat from the world as I should." Why do I keep throwing in the towel? It seems so much easier than finding my own way to go, I guess. Because I don't want to lead the trends anymore - at least not like I used to in my NYC days - and I have never been a follower. So I opt for cashing in and letting it all go when all that is really needed is for me to find my own path. One that involves neither leading trends nor following, but just being. However, that takes courage, determination and a belief in oneself - all things I have been short on until very recently.

And actually this comes right around to what I have been thinking about a lot lately: my life in Miami Beach. When I lived there, I had finally hit that balance - creating my own world that integrated my interests in technology, music, fashion, design, literature, food, wine without losing myself in any one pursuit. I am not sure how I got there, but I haven't been able to do it again since I left Miami Beach. I do know that the struggles of the past few years have naturally removed me from that path, but now I feel like I am being drawn back. I think it's coming again - that getting centered and living holistically.

I think I may make it back to myself after all - fused from all the broken parts that I had become.

Well, another Christmas has come and almost gone. This is the first Christmas ever that I haven't pined for that "perfect Christmas" that doesn't really exist anywhere except in my imagination and on TV. I am glad not to have that yearning, but it makes me feel like I am not myself. I mean who am I if I am not wishing I were having a better time, doing something more exciting, with smarter/funnier/hipper people? I am alone and I am content. What is that all about?

I didn't decorate and I didn't make any plans whatsoever. I got groceries for tomorrow, but no Christmas-y food like a ham or a turkey or a roast beef. I got lasagne! That is as un-Christmas-y as you can get in my opinion. More so even than Chinese or the like because that is going out of your way not to eat traditional holiday fare. Lasagne is just regular any day food. My one nod to the festive occasion was a bottle of wine which will be nice to have.

I mean, if you just go by the few sentences above, we are talking major changes in my behavior/personality/oulook on life. I am always miserable at the holidays. It is my calling card, my schtick, my crutch - heck, people expect it of me. And obviously I expect it of me. But this year I guess I really couldn't be bothered to be bothered. Christmas comes, there is nothing you can do about it except hunker down until it passes - and try to make the best of it while it is here.

The new job has kind of made it easier I guess. Lower expectations. I haven't been there long so I am not expecting warm fuzzy yuletide cheer from everyone (especially not Crossbow, but that is another story!). I have become jaded in that aspect, I guess. Truly, you do stop being the bubbly new person after you have played that role one too many times. I am now "jaded new person."

But don't be fooled into thinking that I have completely stopped being myself... Of course I did get myself several very nice Christmas presents - if I hadn't then there would truly be reason for concern! The super shopper miss a shopportunity? Never! I got myself that leather jacket that I have been wanting, a huge bottle of Bulgari Pour Femme (EDP) and that cute patchwork purse. As any good present-giver should, I also got myself some non-fun-but-necessary items: new sheets (ivory, striped sateen, 1000 TC), some extra pillow cases (same) and a pair of leather gloves for that 2-day cold snap that should be arriving sometime in late January/early February.

Now I know you are wondering about the girls. What did I get Peeka and Boo? Well, after giving it a lot of thought - and honestly I did - I decided against giving them anything. Because, they are CATS! No matter what I gave them, they wouldn't have appreciated it any more than they appreciate their Pounce treats. Nothing would make them that excited - well except more Pounce treats and I already bought them some a few weeks ago. I love the kittens and all, but I realized that my happiness in giving comes from knowing and seeing the recipient appreciating the gift that was given. If you are giving a present to a cat, how is that satisfying? Cats aren't even immediately appreciative of a toy (unlike a dog) so you would just have to "know" that eventually they will enjoy it. Well, that's not my style of giving - I don't give just for the sake of it. I give to give happiness - and if that can be better accomplished with a few Pounce treats and some cuddles instead of a toy that will get lost after an hour, then Pounce & cuddles it is!

So on this night before Christmas, having watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and reflected upon Christmases Past, Present and Future I can say that it is a not-so-bad-if-not-quite-wonderful life. I can't believe how optimistic I have become.

Oh that what follows were an original sentiment. 

Here we are - two days to the big day.  Christmas.  The big letdown.  Bah humbug.  But in theory I really love that people think that they are trying to be better people at this time of year (of course if they could try doing it for more than just a few days a year the world would be a much better place).  But in reality, in America at the beginning of the 21st century, few people are skirting the edges of sainthood.  More than anything they are buying into the notion that you can buy the love of your friends and family with ever more extravagant gifts. 

My cynicism hit its peak this evening after work when I stopped by the UPS store where I choose to receive my mail.  Not my parcels, but my everyday, not exciting, not-from-Zappos mail.  While I waited to speak to one of the employees, I noticed that the place looked like Santa's workshop had exploded nearby.  Parcels and parcels everywhere and little UPS Store workers scurrying around to ship it all.  And I do not live in a shipping mecca where one might expect such a high volume.  So conceivably this could be happening in every UPS Store and US Postal Service office across the country - and I am sure it is barely going to let up before the weekend.  What gross consumerism, I thought to myself.  What an embarrassment of riches we are all choking on.

Don't get me wrong - I am a shop-happy, Visa-wielding, Amazon Prime-shopping maniac 12 months of the year.  But when I see everyone doing it - people who I always have to hear about on the local news that people are stretching their budgets so that they can buy Timmy his $9000 PlayStation technogadget I have no sympathy.  Over-hyped under-tested must-haves that will be gathering dust drifts within a few weeks time are not worth putting yourself and your family into hock over.  Timmy will survive the stigma of not having the latest game box, hubby will survive without his new Lexus, and darling wifey can survive without a Journey Diamond pendant.  Heck those adverts make me feel pressured to buy these things and I don't even have anyone to give such things to! 

Short and simple:  give year round, give within your budget and don't buy into the madness - or shut up about it.  Oh yes, and "Bah Humbug!"